The day before going away on a vacation is always a bad day for me. Today's that day. But it starts off pretty well. I go get some certificates and there is no queue. And I have just enough time to meet a friend for coffee.
Lunch is served. By me.
And the day ends quite successfully also: plush doggies are packed; books are in the bags along with the swimsuits.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
1. Hiking in the woods. Both girls enjoy it. They spot a butterfly.
2. Perfect lunch: green beans from our garden.
3. Playing a new game: Mother Crow guarding her eggs from the predators.
Monday, July 18, 2011
I like summer rain. And there was a whole lot of rain today...
I am offered help in the kitchen. And I didn't even ask for it. Jay is doing the dishes.
When I enter the library I notice there is another librarian there. And I realize how much I like the other lady that I see behind the counter every week.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
It's 10 minutes to leaving the office. I am done. My 2-week vacation, here I come! Just a brief about my projects to my superior. Who happens to remember about a thing that needs to be done. Urgently. Two sentences and he's out of the office and I am stuck by my desk for another hour. Seeing another colleague working in her cubicle makes the situation more bearable from the very first instant; deciding that I am not letting such expressions of power get to me for more than 1 minute, makes it just another assignment; and realizing it is unnecessary once I gather the data and do the analysis, makes it a total absurd that gives me good laugh when I shut down the computer and leave.
She listens and I don't expect her to say anyhing, but then she presents my options very objectively and although it doesn't solve anyhing, it is easier to reflect on it without that strong emotional tone.
They are three lovely 11-year olds, so full of life, laughter, love. I am so impressed by the the flow of energy among them that I can't help wondering about chances of bringing them together really soon again when the other two girls leave.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I bring the 3-D optical illusion card to the office in the morning. I’ve tried several times before but I couldn’t see the hidden image… I try again now. And again. Then I turn it upside down. I see a whole lot more now. I am almost there. Then I turn it right again. And there it is: the hand holding a ball. Starting fresh in the morning, persistence and looking from another angle give a different / better perspective.
I wait for everyone to leave the house. Then I sneak downstairs and bring that small container of ice-cream… I know it’s full of artificial additives, and it’s not even my favorite flavor, but its cold creamy sweetness brings me back into the moment.
There is plenty of room on the couch but she finds the perfect spot, so close to me we both feel like she’s sitting in my lap.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
She is standing close to the tennis court fence, watching and waiting for the slightest sign from her sister.
It’s all lettuce seedlings and no soil. It looks like clover but it’s really rocket lettuce.
II feel the tension build within me. How I hate having to pick, having to make a decision when none of the options is what I truly want. But then I give in and send off the e-mail. I get a call back that it’s too late. The Universe knows - and that is comforting.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
“It died,” she says looking at a little bug lying on the asphalt. Then she carries it away with her spade and gently lays it on the lawn.
I neatly sort the documents, trash all the unnecessary papers and my desk looks almost perfect when I leave the office.
I need solid ground to be able to take off and then to land and take off again. I have always known solid ground was an illusion, but lately I am even more aware of it. The good thing is that I have a runway within me. I just forget that sometimes. And it is good to remember.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Em’s list of activities has shrunk from school work, piano & dancing lessons, reading, playing with her sister and enjoying outdoors to the last three on the list this summer. My adding “housework assistance” on her list doesn’t make her too cheerful but it makes up a great practice field for good argumentation, fair negotiation and quiet compromising for both of us.
I have fought against reading books by a foreign family therapist for a long time, just because there had been so media coverage about his works and his readings… or maybe because I thought I was past diving into theory… Anyway, I now have two books of his, brought home from the local library, and the first pages are great.
I brush by the shrub to check on the tomatoes and the scent of Lemon Balm is released instantly.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
We cross ways with a little hedgehog, now lying on the lawn, trembling and breathing really deep. The girls are amazed, but then we all give it space to go its way.
Ice-cream tarts and freshly squeezed lemonades and thick stone walls.
Late night thoughts start to wear me down, but then I read some uplifting love sonnets and all that heaviness is gone.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
“Will you be home soon?” Jay asks, half asleep and embracing the plush doggies to keep her company.
I am not sure it was mother-daughter quality time, but it was definitely fun going to the movies and then shopping for Em’s first pair of All Stars sneakers ever.
My friend’s cheerful voice brought back memories of long ice-cream afternoon chats by the river Ljubljanica.