My early summer enthusiasm over small but steady positive changes in my perspective melts down in the office heat, but I decide I will just let it pass and not give up.
As approach the post office I see a swallow flying away from the building. I look closer and see a nest above the entrance, beneath a small roof.
“I love our whole family…” says Jay lying in the big bed and starts listing names of the family members, ”… and myself.”
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
I laugh at Em wearing my Mother’s huge round out-of-date dark sunglasses to filter the bright early morning sun.
At the new library I run into a friend and her girls. It’s nice to meet friends in places I enjoy.
There is still enough light coming through the window to read the bedtime story.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
I say no to a promotion that I have been passed up for twice before, a job that I am more than qualified to do.
She catches me by surprise with her new hair-cut. I look at her and I see me from many many years ago.
The girls tour the driving training roads with their bikes while I read an article about a kayaking adventure in the shade. I am easy.
Monday, June 27, 2011
1. I walk across the parking lot when I see an empty beer tin being thrown out of a car. The car gets started just as I am about to pass by. I knock on the fellow driver’s side car window. Next thing I know I am looking in the eyes of a teenage chubby boy and a man in the driver’s seat that is probably his father.“Do you think it is the right thing to do to throw trash out of your car?”“Yes!” says the big man.“Do you think you are giving a good example to your child?”“Yes!”“Then it is OK.” That’s all I can say and then I walk away.It was bold and I have never done it before, but I think it was also a good & right thing to do.
2. I glance at a baby in his pushchair and I see he’s staring at me (or better, at my glasses) without blinking. He is the loveliest little boy in a navy blue striped T-shirt. Time stops for three or four seconds.
3. Jay starts sweeping the paved path in our vegetable garden with her little broom, and doesn’t stop till she’s finished. I can see she is proud of herself and I am, too.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Our guests are amazed to see their girls eat their veggie soup and even ask to try the celery soup with small lumps made of bucketwheat flour… I feel rewarded for all the time and energy spent on peeling, chopping, stirring, cooking, mixing and baking.
When Jay’s bike is no longer connected to her dad’s with the tow bar and she has to pedal herself she starts complaining that her bike is slow because of the installed tow bar’s receivers. A perfect example of how quickly we get used to easy going which makes me smile.
It's wonderful to see the lettuce sprouts in just one week of germination.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
My morning starts with a glass of mineral water and a page in the book about Alma Karlin.
I walk through the door and the first thing she has to say is: “Can you imagine it’s the last day of school tomorrow?” No. I don’t want to believe it’s her last day in 6th Grade.
I dive into the ocean within me and I feel dizzy and unstable although I am sitting on the floor. But I am fine, just fine.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Jay talks me into stopping by and saying hello to her little friend and her family outside their lovely home:
They seem such great people and I am glad to have met them.
The grass around their house is so thick it feels like walking on a carpet.
The girls are like two balls bouncing all around the garden and jiggling all the time.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I feel ignored and then I feel relieved. We know the right down deep inside, always.
There is a moment when I feel absolutely exhausted from my long working day but then the adrenaline of experimenting in the kitchen rushes in – and I put the dish in the oven and I am done.
There is wide variety to choose from and everything smells so good.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I send my book review on time and wait patiently to see it on the web along with others’ reviews.
Despite recent missing lessons and changing teachers Em completes another piano school year with a smile on her face.
I ran after Jay and nearly catch her but she made up a new rule so I have to stand still as soon as she stops. We go on running around our garden and I don’t even lose my breath.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The children dance and they twirl and they bounce and crawl to music from different parts of Europe.
Jay and her mates wear red T-shits and a red blossom in their hair - featuring Spain. The only thing missing is that she is not one of the few mates from her group that will be going to school in the fall to yell "Ole!" at the end of their performance.
Some dancers are especially sweet...
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I hold the cowboy and inspect all the little plastic parts that come with it, and they are all there, in the original box, for almost 40 years.
I make some more space on my bookshelves and pile up some more books for the school library. Everybody’s happy.
I get a late birthday present and it says to me “write, write, just write…”
Monday, June 6, 2011
There is birds' singing in the air and raindrops on the grass as I walk down to the garden to get the lettuce.
After my 30-minute decluttering session I look through the window and I see the rainbow but it disappears very soon. When I look again an hour later there is another rainbow.
Jay sits at the table with a bowl of red cherries right in front of her.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The dance production Odysseyade is staged at the local theater. I love how Em and her group present the creation of the world according to Greek mythology.
I watch them leave, holding hands down the sidewalk and the sight of their sisterly love warms my heart.
We come visit our friends to meet their 5-days old Icelandic foal. The girls and I hardly get the chance to touch its soft hair because the overprotective mare is just a step away all the time. Zippy bounces in the meadow like a child.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Morning starts with: »Who do you think I am to carry you around in the middle of the night?«. »My relative!« the little girl says back to her daddy.
I am greeted by the fresh wind blowing away the office stuffiness. Going home.
I sneak into her bed while she is still brushing her teeth in the bathroom. She is most happy to see me there and then lectures me about how I am not allowed to read now because she has so much to tell me.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I make a presentation at work. All my suggestions are accepted and I feel like it is because of the excess of energy I am feeling.
“It’s too much energy built up in there,” the therapist says. How it cannot be when I am carrying my whole world on my shoulders, I think to myself. They hurt from the massage but it is a good pain.
I ask Jay to tell me her three good things at bedtime and she says without hesitation: »Seeing Vita, my friend, spending time at the daycare centre, going for a trip and ice-cream with daddy.« It is as simple as that: friends, a stimulating environment and happy time spent with your loved ones.