- I am happy to be awake in the morning. What a nightmare.
- Elegant shoes with a flower pattern. I only spot them once throughout the day at the office but they stay with me.
- Late night wind raging in the tree tops behind our house and all around, making sounds that give me shivers. So grateful we are safe.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
- At sunrise a cloudy veil just above the horizon.
- The kind librarian makes copies of math exercises for Jay and doesn’t charge me anything.
- I feel depleted in the evening yet I stay up with Em who continues with her physics studies in my bedroom, and that is really nice, to have her sit on my bed next to me, with her notebooks wide open, to listen to her talking to herself, repeating definitions about things I know nothing about anymore, and to look at her smiling face when she exchanges messages with someone whose name she doesn’t want to reveal.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Monday, March 2, 2015
- Waking my girls up in the morning is my highlight of the day. The warmth of their cheeks, their neck, their bodies. Like they have just come out of a cocoon.
- Em comes out of her room with a smile, happy with her studying for the test in physics.
- An e-mail about a new Sunday evening yoga class. I sign up.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
- been to a concert at the local music school
- checked the first real estate; it’s not the one, but it’s a start, the step I had been scared to take
- seen an Iranian movie on TV after a long time; my expectations weren’t met though
- found photos while copying files, taken right after the move into our house 11 years ago; Em’s eyes and smiles, so sweet.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
- When we return from our short hike I instantly decide to cut the dead stems of the shrub on the edge of our driveway. No prior planning.
- Mom helps me collect two bags of clothes, toys and children’s magazines that will make someone happy.
- All of a sudden I feel the urge to check my phone and I see an unanswered call from my friend.
Friday, February 27, 2015
- My colleague from work is so kind to offer me a lift to Zalec, to Jay’s music school.
- Em texts me that her chemistry test went really well.
- Jay beams after the practice with the professor, and says how proud she is to have played with him.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
- The view of the snow-capped hills in the morning.
- While Jay is at her music theory class I do a short hike in the woods. The trail is muddy and there is little light, so it seems really dark and scary and raw but I like it. Like I am on a survival quest.
- The filled pasta is really delicious. I have forgotten how good it can taste.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
- The room is only half full and most of the parents sit in back rows as if we were afraid of the teachers. There is an empty chair right in front of me and then my cousin walks in and takes it, and we get to chat before the meeting starts.
- On our way from the school parents’ meeting we talk about our children and our everyday, and then she gets into a topic I am very sensitive about. I soon come to realize it has nothing to do with me, but with her own situations that I can relate to from another point of view. I am really glad to interact with a person of common sense and emotional intelligence.
- It is only after I do my mini workout and read a few pages that I feel at peace with myself and the world.
Monday, February 23, 2015
- I pass a shop with sewing supplies. I walk in and buy some strings for friendship bracelets for Jay, in 10 different colors.
- Cuba is a lovely café downtown Celje. I have a decaf and cookies before the meeting. Enjoying the moment.
- As I walk in the bookstore I heave a sigh of relief. A white-bearded man standing next to the shelves with a book in his hands looks up, puzzled, then says: So many books, right? I smile back and reply with a yes.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
- gone ice skating
- transformed into a 1968 hippy 5 minutes before taking the girls to the school masquerade
- tried skiing again
- joined a 4-hour Saturday morning yoga class (my first yoga class ever)
- seen a local amateur theater comedy
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
- I spend the whole morning in the sun on the ski slopes of Golte. So does Jay, while learning to ski. It feels good to be outside, in all that whiteness. I feel safe.
- I run into U, a colleague from work who has recently undergone an operation and then a breasts’ reconstruction. Her attitude is uplifting.
- Em helps me with uploading photos. I am still not used to my home computer, so her help is really appreciated.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
- I feel a genuine excitement within while walking from the junction to the office.
- I was hoping I would not have to attend the business meeting. I couldn’t get out of it. It goes well.
- Now, years later, I get to know details about a story I thought I had only created in my mind. And there is nothing good about it, only that I am happy to see how far I have come in my self-appreciation.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Monday, February 9, 2015
- I wasn't looking for a birthday present but amid all the cute little things I see something Jay would be happy to have.
- Em says we could have our own reality show like the Kardashians. I like her remark, so sarcastically hilarious. Not that I have seen a single episode of theirs ever.
- At the end of the day I would have loved to let it all out, but I had no one to talk to. All I could was let go. And I did.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
- As I get out of the house and walk down the hill the clouds open up and there is the sun, so much sun.
- I run into the same elderly couple at almost the same spot on the trail where we met yesterday.
- I saw Still Alice tonight. And I feel so much appreciation for all the memories that I have… of my children, of the times when I was a student, of the prom, of my parents and grandparents, of my loves… of the beautiful and painful things that have happened to me, of the people that have once been a part of my life and then left for whatever reason, and of the ones that with me that I am happy to share my life with… All we really have is today.