- I get an unexpected call from the reception desk that there is a lady waiting for me. It’s my Mom.
- A get-together with friends for the whole afternoon. Chatting, movies.
- I find Jay half asleep in bed so I can kiss her goodnight and Em waiting up for me to talk about her day.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
- We learn multiplying by 6, Jay and I. Going well.
- Discarding difficult thoughts and faces that keep flashing up in my mind. Need to make up some space or else I will go crazy. Breathing. Feeling better.
- I handwrite a long letter which I haven’t done in years. I struggle at first but then I am happy with the process.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
- I am the first parent to walk into the empty classroom. It’s all so familiar: the smell, the walls. This used to be my school once.
- I can tell that we are both tip-toeing around the topics related directly to our girls. I had witnessed Em’s agony over her best friends’ sudden unexplainable withdrawal just at the beginning of last summer, and I am happy she has gotten over it and that I, too, am fine with this limited communication.
- I am grateful to be able to call it the day and go to sleep. Surely, tomorrow things will be better, so much better.
Monday, January 26, 2015
- Back to the office after a week of sick-leave. Greeted by the sun shining through the window.
- At lunchtime I walk to the bookstore to buy some supplies for Em.
- She sneaks into my bed, frustrated by math exercises that don't go as smoothly as she was hoping. I tell her to appreciate her learning more and more every day, to go easy on herself, especially at 10 p.m. And with my arms wrapped around her, her long hair in my face I think of all the great things I wish for her.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
- I cleared the Halloween and Christmas décor from Jays’ desk. I am spending 30 minutes decluttering every day and it is going well.
- My leg hurts again, but I don’t feel any discomfort during my cycling session and that is good.
- Em is content with her grades end of the first semester and I am very happy about it all, her grades, her passion for learning and her developing skills to deal with stress and to restore balance.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Thursday, January 8, 2015
- First I thought I’d do some more cooking, but then I put on my hiking shoes and go for a 30-minute walk in the woods.
- I burnt the vanilla pastry. If it hadn’t been for B, I would have taken them out of the oven 2 hours after I had put them in. I am grateful I didn’t burn the house down.
- I text her in the morning, and she gives me a call back just as l lay in bed to read.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
- Em wore her new high heels to school today. She is taller than me now.
- I got a make-up kit in the mail today. What a kind gesture. The lady must have known my mascara is one year old already.
- A great evening. I declutter some shelves in Jay’s room. And I get to read The Fault In Our stars, Em’s recent favorite, late into the night.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
- While standing in parking lot, waiting for a friend from the office to give me a lift to work, I look up and there is the beautiful full moon again, its bright shine with a pink rim, and a lacy cloud wave running over it.
- I use rubber gloves to do dishes for the first time. There are no perfect fit, but they are perfect for my dry chapped hands. Self-care is good.
- Apples and bread from the oven. Thanks to my Mom.
Monday, January 5, 2015
- It’s dark and shivering cold as I walk from the crossroads to the office. I am warm and I am fine with the fact that it is Monday. I take a deep breath and change my morning frown to a smile. There are so many things I have to change this year.
- I look at my 8-yo girl while she learns for school. She is bold and beautiful and I am so proud of her.
- With Em sitting in the middle of the big bed and going through her lessons out load I can’t possibly continue scanning the real estate sites. And that is a good thing. Because I have gone from checking the same sites from once a day to three times a day and now it’s about time I stop and I listen about how the Slovenian language developed over the centuries.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Saturday, January 3, 2015
- After an hour of standing by the side of the skating ring I am most happy to get back into the car and turn on the heating.
- Mail delivered on a Saturday! A Christmas card from an old friend from Denmark! Hurray!
- Em and I choose to watch the rest of the movie we had started the evening before. I love it when the movie character Mr. Clark says to his wife “The one thing I am proudest of in my whole life is that you’re happy with me.”
Monday, December 29, 2014
- I walk to the car service at lunch time. Sun. So much sun.
- Jay’s excitement when I suggest an afternoon train ride to Celje Fairy Land with her grandma.
- I make phone calls I haven’t made in months, and text to people I haven’t had the chance to reach. One friend had a big news to share, another one is looking forward to our January reunion… Every journey starts with a first step.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
- We wake up to a snow blanketed land.
- Their red cheeks when they return from their sleighing adventure.
- The puppets' show with Kazimir the Cat and Valentina the Mouse is sweet. For a moment I thought Jay was too big for it, but it is perfect. Also for me. Kazimir and Valentina win the audition. Together.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
- Jay says she doesn't mind all that much that their class performance (with Jay playing Rudolph, the red-nosed Reindeer on the piano, and four other girls dancing) did not get into the school finals, because most of the teachers voted for them… which means they were really good. I like her attitude.
- The most beautiful sunset with pink-belly clouds covering the entire sky.
- After I am done grocery shopping I feel less tense, knowing at least I can tick off one thing from my list, as trivial as it may be.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
- When I park the car in their driveway I am in a total shock. It is an American house, with an mail box and a California Route 66 sign by the side of the road. The sight of it all lingers on in my mind for the rest of the day.
- We descend at dusk. The girls run ahead and disappear down the road. A breeze of fresh air.
- Suddenly I felt I needed to do something, anything, like go there and scratch the car, or throw a huge stone at it, or tear off the plates. Agony. But then it all dissolves… and I am back.