Thursday, May 25, 2017

Second morning in a row that I am sitting in my car, parked outside our office building, for over half an hour, struggling. Something's got to change. The system is not going to. I have to. 
Today's good things: 
  1. A promising job ad.
  2. Reading again. The invention of Wings.
  3. Walked 11 times round the track while Jay was at her piano class. 

Saturday, January 14, 2017

  1. A beautiful view through the window. All snow. And the blue sky.
  2. Jay makes a small snowman (before she leaves). I take photos of her with my phone (which I am looking at right now and missing her terribly although she's only away till tomorrow afternoon).
  3. I do my e-banking and even check some jobs sites in the evening while listening to Em's singing in the bathroom. I'm feeling most grateful she's here and that I have something useful and important to do.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

  1. A freezing cold morning with an intense pink horizon is a good start of the day.
  2. We agree to go for a walk at lunchtime. A stop for juice and coffee and a friendly chat is exactly what I need.
  3. Mom makes late lunch and I am more than grateful for this tasty homemade meal. Jay and Em think the bread dumplings are delicious, too.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

  1. After they leave for the day I take my backpack and go for a long hike. I know of a dozen things that I should have been doing instead, most of them related to housework, but they just didn’t seem tempting (and mind-occupying) enough to stay indoors on such a glorious sunny summer day.
  2. At the restaurant on the top of the hill I set as my destination they serve me a lemonade in a smoothie jar with a yellow straw lid and I think that is just lovely.
  3. Once the trail leaves the forest and I am out in the open again, in the full blazing sun, all I can think of is that I need to sit down. I spot a bench, hidden in the shade of trees and bushes, next to a cottage that is clearly uninhibited today. A perfect spot to drink some water and listen to the birds.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

  1. Em is really excited about her shopping spree. The yellow jacket she bought is a hit.
  2. When I see the date on the document I panic. A few hours later I start working on the application and I am done in 30 minutes.
  3. I am my own enemy the whole day long and it is only at 10 p.m. that I make peace with myself. Red nail polish is my reward and a reminder to take it easy on myself.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

  1. I can’t get enough of the smell of the undergrowth during the hike.
  2. We stop by the river to freshen up. Our feet are numb and our skin is cool as we stand in the water in the shade of trees and the stone wall.
  3. While my girls go for a swim in a private pool I have two hours to myself. It’s too hot to do anything else but to have an ice cream and watch a cheesy romantic Spanish series on TV.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

  1. I manage to get some bureaucratic things done in the afternoon. Then we go for ice-cream and a decaf to our favorite café and run into Jay’s music teacher and her boys again.
  2. Playing badminton and tennis with Jay in the evening when the heat is down.
  3. At the end of the day I feel bone tired and restless, with too much on my mind. I am grateful another day has come to an end.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

  1. Finding a parking ticket in the parking ticket machine, waiting for someone (for me!) to use it up for the last 45 minutes. That is really nice.
  2. After clearing some things at the bank, I stop at the downtown park and have a sandwich in the shade of the trees, next to a white marble fountain.
  3. A chat with Jay’s friend’s mommy. She is pretty cool to handle the kind of job that she has.

Monday, June 27, 2016

  1. Jay is so looking forward to her friend sleeping over at our place tonight. She gives me a call to work, reminding me to buy potato chips for snacking in the evening.
  2. Shopping for groceries at the mall in the city. It is nice not to run into neighbors and locals every place I go.
  3. A walk at 9 p.m. I do some stretching next to the church on the top of the hill and can hear chirping of kids on the other side of the building.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

  1. A call from Em, attending her 8-day debate seminar. We miss her terribly but I am happy she has taken this challenge, knowing she will learn so much.
  2. I pretty much finish reading the book about focus.
  3. I take a break from housework, parenting and worrying – and go to cinema on a Sunday afternoon. I get nearly stuck in the traffic on the highway and have to violate traffic rules, without putting anyone in danger though, to make it there on time.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

  1. On my way back from the gas station I give my friend a call and we have a lemonade in her garden where it’s cool, fresh and most peaceful.
  2. Somehow we manage to change Em’s mobile operator through their website at 10 p.m.
  3. A breeze of cool air through the window late at night.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

  1. Em gives me a call from downtown after a school hiking in the blazing sun. I don’t have to think much to take my lunch break, get into the car and give her a lift home.
  2. Jay and I spend a lot of time at the book store looking for a gift for Jay’s class teacher, and we both really enjoy going through books and notebooks and all the lovely things they have.
  3. As we drive through town we notice a mommy with a pushchair and a small boy walking next to her. It’s Jay’s music teacher with her two boys, one born only 3 weeks ago. So sweet to see them and to talk with them.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Three good things over the last three days:
  1. Friday. I am sitting in the car, thinking whether I should make those phone calls today or not at all. I am paralyzed with fear. I ask for a sign. Meanwhile I watch two girls riding one bike. They fall. It’s not a nasty fall but they obviously both hurt their knees. They sit on the ground – and laugh. They check their knees, laugh and then they get up and ride away. And I get my phone and make the calls.
  2. Saturday. Digging in my vegetable garden. Tired in the evening but the good feeling about my hard work lingers.
  3. Sunday. A rainy day is a perfect day for house cleaning. And napping and reading.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

  1. Third time this year that we are on our way to the Maribor hospital for a Jay’s check-up, and this time I take the right exit and we don’t miss the appointment.
  2. Em’s exam at the music school goes well. Jay and Em return to the car smiling.
  3. Picking blueberries while hiking.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

  1. I sign the contract. I feel empty. Sad. Lost. Homeless. I sit in the car and think to myself that I needn’t own the house to be able to take it with me any place and any time I wish to. It will always be a part of me.
  2. I decide to do something nice for myself and drive to the spa resort to get a date for my therapies which I have been postponing for weeks.
  3. Em’s relieved. Last test today. At 11 p.m. she gets an e-mail from her teacher – it’s an A. I am very happy and very proud of her. She has finished this school year most successfully.

Monday, June 13, 2016

  1. I take some time to myself at an empty office to re-check the papers. Then I send the e-mail. There is no turning back now.
  2. Jay reads her play out loud to me and I am amazed by her writing.
  3. A pile of clean dishes and two loads of laundry pegged out at 11 p.m.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

  1. Finishing my morning exercise. As trivial as this may seem, it is a good thing.
  2. A wonderful sight of Jay dancing with her hip-hop group at the end-of-school-year production.
  3. I watch my mind trying to get out of it, looking for whatever distraction possible. It takes a long while before I get down to reading my mail and checking the new draft, but eventually I do it.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

  1. The crust on the grill-cheese slices.
  2. We wanted to take our bikes to go cycling, but it starts raining. We look for the old tae-bo tape and do our exercise indoors instead. Jay laughs a lot and we have a  great time.
  3. I am happy I have brought a book along so I don’t sit idly in the car while waiting for Jay.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

  1. At lunchtime I dash to the library then stop at the café nearby to have a decaf with a great view of the green on the other side of the river.
  2. I ponder what to with this new information that I got a hold of. And then I do nothing and it feels good. They have done enough bad to me and I don’t have to respond to win.
  3. Things I thought I had completed keep popping up. I force myself to check every single line all over again and send it out before midnight.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

  1. A good start of the day. As I wake Em I tell her she shouldn’t freak out but someone has cleaned her room overnight (of course, it was her doing before sleep), and that makes her smile even before she opens her eyes.
  2. A call from a friend from the office just to ask me how I have been doing. I think that is most thoughtful and it brings tears to my eyes.
  3. I usually only read one chapter to Jay at bedtime. But the story is so intriguing I go on and read one more.