She stops by my desk and shares details about her new furniture. It’s wonderful to see her happy and smiling again.
The smell of freshly cut wood in the workshop.
I turn on the TV just as the guys play scenes with garden dwarfs in The Full Monty.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
I feel the spark of a new professional perspective lighten in my brain but it’s put out by the feed-back from the mayor’s office. A tailor-made job advertisement, obviously. I am annoyed which is not good. The good thing is that I feel activated to move on, to do something, anything. Even dishes.
The driving training roads are busy with small cyclists. I wait for Jay to cycle by, happy to see her smiling and being so proud of herself.
I look through the window and I see our trampoline and the vegetable garden, the oak tree and houses and then the hilly horizon in the golden evening sun and I know I have so much to be grateful for.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
We go for a long walk and Em asks me to talk about my recent reads and afterwards she tells me about hers. Happy time.
The smell of allspice from freshly baked cookies in our home.
As I close the window in the room upstairs I see the illuminated church belltowers on the hilltop and I think to myself how my father would have enjoyed that view if he had ever slept over in that room.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
»Are you happy I am helping you?« »Yes, I am, Jay.« And so are the little seeds we plant and the lettuce we water.
A wonderful piece of art in my mail box saying »Life is a Mess – just breathe« - and live it to the maximum, I add in my mind.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
My last minute arrangements for lunch break turn out delicious.
There is a late afternoon summer breeze and hula-hoops being whirled around.
It’s late and I am tired and I don’t want to do my exercise – but then Jay joins me and comments the DVD workout and I do it anyway, and it feels good to win against my biggest enemy, laziness, just by being distracted by my little girl.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Jay keeps bringing me new and new storybooks from the library shelves while I ponder whether to borrow two or three for myself.
I encourage Em to go for a hike but she tells me she had already gone out, saw a rainbow just as she walked down the road and around the corner, ran home to get her camera but the rainbow disappeared by the time she came back. Em likes rainbows just like me.
I harvest some vegetable from the garden and listen to the evening singing from the forest and the meadow.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The DVD workout requires weights – I don’t have any, and half a liter bottles with water are too light. I laugh at the thought of my girls waking up and seeing me do those upper body exercises with a package of flour in an extra plastic sack, each in one hand.
I use muscovado and add less than required in the recipe, sprinkle with chopped hazelnuts instead of the usual blueberries. After it is baked and ready to eat I hold my breath to hear family feedback. “This is gooood!”
Jay dashes through the door to report: “I can ride the bike by myself!” What could be greater than that, to be able to ride anywhere with the wind in your face and your hair?
Thursday, May 19, 2011
It is starting to be impossible to predict her response to clothes I buy for her and to places I take her to. She is growing up, definitely.
The unfairness of the situation makes me a little angry. But no one is to blame. And I am the only one to deal with it. So I just dive in and I am over and done with it by the time I have to leave.
It was 100% pure magic to listen to their music live, again. The neighboring town’s school gym may not be the perfect environment but it’s packed with locals and non-locals, even with people speaking German and English, and we are all just enchanted.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
There are some great things in my mailbox today: a romantic movie and some embarrassing stories to read which remind me of situations when I felt the blush rising in my face. All is fine as long as I am able to laugh at myself.
I glance at the TV screen wishing I had the time to sit down and watch the movie amid all the things and people that call for my attention. But it’s really just an impulse because I like the actress and her haircut, and what I really want is to give a shower to Jay and sweet-talk her to sleep.
I can’t remember the last time a book made me cry… My cheeks are wet from tears and it is so liberating. It’s only just page 94 and more than another 100 pages to go.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I dial an unknown number and hear a familiar voice. Happy memories from 20 years ago come to surface.
I make a crazy promise to wear a very short skirt for a certain special occasion which is very unlikely to take place ever. The whole family laughs just at the thought of it. I do, too.
The smell of strawberries in my shower. I check the image on the container if it is just strawberries or strawberries with cream.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Em is eager to read her new poem to me. Indeed, a perfect combination of her favourite activities: writing rhymes about reading books.
A postcard and a letter in my mailbox. They are from different countries, but both have polar bear stamps.
I drive to the local theatre in the rain drizzling evening. Then the light cuts through the drapery and I see two ends of a rainbow. My first rainbow scene this year.