Monday, August 26, 2013
- I smile a whole lot speaking to strangers passing by our booth, knowing it’s more of a delight to see a happy face than a dull one, although I feel I am far too mature to be a hostess.
- I smile a whole lot at my old acquaintance because I am really glad to see him although I may be misleading him to think how overall happy I am.
- I smile a whole lot talking to my colleague from work, this energetic 10 years younger woman with a life style so different from mine, that I would hardly ever communicate on a private basis.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
- The smell of cantaloupe as I open the container for my lunch at the office.
- Hydrangeas are among my favorites. Unfortunately this summer the blooms in my garden have been badly burnt by the sun. As I am pruning I listen to Jay and her little friend and their interaction is a wonderful example of complementing and having fun together.
- Mostly it was about needing to leave the house. But eventually it felt like the right thing to go there, to reunite and to light a candle at his grave.
Monday, August 19, 2013
- I felt much better afterwards. I actually stopped biting my nails and got to work which I am paid to do.
- Jay wanted to have a serious talk with me about when she can meet with friends when her big sister is going to a birthday party this week and is even planning a sleep-over…! I don’t know how I pulled it through with my suggestion to cycle down to the library together, but I did. And it was good. Humid and hot, especially when we had to walk back up the hill, dragging our bikes, but it was good. For all three of us.
- While we talked we held each other tight on her big bed and I felt small but safe, safe in the arms of my 13-year old daughter.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
- Seeing them enjoy our weekend away from home, swimming, splashing, diving in the pools made it more than worth the stress I felt doing things differently.
- As soon as we come home Jay takes her diary to write a few lines and to glue in the postcard.
- I feel a relief seeing that the lettuce seedlings are still alive, although nobody watered them over the last two days.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
- The crisp air and sunshine and swings at 1122 m alt.
- As soon as I get past the resentment I feel lighter and able to think of all the wonderful possibilities for our girls' weekend.
- Although I feel sorry Em and I had to again postpone watching Anna Karenina together, I enjoy seeing my auntie after so many weeks and talking small talk while indulging in our home-made pizza and cake.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
- Jay created a lovely booklet about letters. Letter A is the most important one, and letter V likes to sleep in late but should go to bed earlier, at 9 p.m. that is (like Jay). Love it!
- I ask my colleague at work if she has any sample to spare and she hands me a lovely red box with a bear, perfect size for the cookies we have made for my cousin.
- Little Jakob bounces around and smiles all the time, and looks at me in astonishment when I start singing to him – and then, after a while, covers his ears.
Monday, August 12, 2013
- I look into the cradle, at the green blanket, and picture the newborn there. What joy!
- We make ourselves comfortable on the couch watching the adventures of the tiny, but mighty Chihuahua.
- I felt so much rage I feared I was going to lose control and do something crazy, embarrassing and socially inacceptable, which isn’t hard to do in a neighborhood like ours and in a situation like that one. This is not a good thing. Until you deal with it, on your own, locked up in the bathroom, in the quiet and out of sight, and come out human again, humble and grateful for yet another episode, one of many yet to come.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
- It was nice having them come visit. And we had a good excuse to serve lots of ice-cream.
- We spent some time at the opening of the hops-picking season, but then we left the band and the crowd behind and walked down to the lake. It was quiet and beautiful and it brought nice memories.
- It was almost 8 p.m. when I put on my walking shoes and went for a hike into the woods. I appreciated the peacefulness, the fallen trees and the dead leaves and the dying light. It’s all about the life cycle, although we sometimes can’t make sense of its pace.