- Crazy scenarios in my head. Focusing on the breathing brings me back.
- I speak to Jay over the phone. She wants to know if I am home when she gets back from her hip hop class.
- Jay’s piano without notes spread all over it is a pretty sight.
Monday, May 30, 2016
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
- I remember to call a friend for her birthday. Her voice is always cheerful.
- There are many children on stage, all recipients of awards for their music performance within this school year, and Jay is among them. What a pretty sight.
- We warm up the vegetable soup and have supper on the table within minutes.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Sunday, May 22, 2016
- The church reminds me of a very dear friend, who is still very much alive in my heart. His ideas, his artistic skills and work can be traced all over the place. Thank you, thank you.
- Jay’s face is all red from biking uphill, but she doesn’t complain too much. She is actually very happy with herself and does some more exercising in the yard.
- Digging in my vegetable garden. An evening breeze from the forest.
Saturday, May 21, 2016
- I plant new flowers on his grave. It’s a beautiful morning and the view of the hill he loved so much, rising from behind the trees, is magnificent. I feel like that is where he dwells, still. He is also one of the guardians of my girls, I know he is.
- We get a seat in the shade and have a good view of the choir of more than 150 people. I am impressed by the singers’ endurance to sing in full afternoon sun, most of them not even wearing sunglasses, like Em.
- While Jay watches her favorite TV show with her dad and Em’s relaxing, I get to watch a movie of my own choice while exercising. It is a good one.
Friday, May 20, 2016
Thursday, May 19, 2016
- Em is overexcited showing me photos taken at the TV studios yesteday. I am so happy for her.
- I help Jay go through the learning material once more, and then she seems more relaxed.
- While exercising I finish watching the movie I started a few days ago. I would like to spend a week at an old mansion surrounded by vineyards in Provence, that I know.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
- It is a nice gesture of theirs, to bring a small gift, the soap with sea salt, to the meeting.
- I record my reading out loud and listen to it while driving. I’m trying my best to keep afloat.
- Every time I wind the old clock I remember the kitchen in my grandparents’ house, and my grandfather, his strong hard working hands, his small figure, his energetic walk and sense of humor. I am so lucky.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
- I only had time to say if she was going to pick me up, and then her mobile phone went dead. A while later the cleaning lady shows up at the office and tells me they have come for me.
- Jay doesn’t want to be alone in front of the house, playing with flowers and water, so I agree to do some shoes’ cleaning outside to be near her. There are raindrops and a cold breeze, yet enjoyable.
- Reading another chapter at bedtime with Jay.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
- By the time Jay wakes up I have already returned from my grocery shopping.
- My cousin comes visit with her little girl Naja. She undresses Jay’s dolls then dresses them up again, and it is so wonderful to watch her in action.
- It stops raining in the late afternoon and we go for a walk uphill to the church and back. The view is not clear, yet beautiful as always.
Saturday, May 14, 2016
- I couldn’t sleep. I start my exercise at 6 in the morning.
- While waiting for Em and her chorus rehearsal to end, I have time for a walk in the rain, a coffee with a friend and a chat with a former coworker I run into at the open market.
- After my assumptions prove right I know I need to leave the house for a couple of hours. I go to the movies. Good decision.
Friday, May 13, 2016
Thursday, May 12, 2016
- The owner was not kind and eventually said he wasn’t even sure he was going to sell the place. But after having seen a house in a very bad condition a week ago I longed to see a beautiful one – like this.
- I listen to their chirping in the bathroom. My girls.
- Before sleep I play some of my favorite tunes.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
- We agreed on the price. We shook hands. Another milestone in my journey.
- Shakira’s Try everything lifts me up.
- I blow dry Jay’s hair. And after Jay’s in bed I check on Em and she is working on her math with a friend on the other side of the line. It is just a normal day. Amid all this craziness I need the sense of routine, the sense of stability, as momentary as it may be.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Sunday, May 8, 2016
- My morning exercise stops the sickness from yesterday’s overeating at my aunt’s celebration. I should’ve known better. But I know the cure and that is a good thing.
- Luckily we have umbrellas, Jay and I, and get shelter under the hayrack when it starts pouring rain while we take an afternoon walk. We still have to get back and that is an adventure that soaks our trousers and shoes and pumps adrenaline into our veins with thunder and lightning.
- A late Sunday pre-sleep-over adventure: first we have to wait for my Mom to return from the gong session, then Jay remembers she forgot her doll and we have to drive back.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
- I am super calm when I get home so late I only have time to dress-up.
- While I give Em a lift home so she can continue with her study of physics, I take a few minutes to hang the laundry, and then drive back.
- The celebration turns out quite fine, relaxing, no big tension. The question I had dreaded didn’t pop out. We are home by 8 p.m. to watch Jay’s favorite show on TV.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
- As one of the most horrible meetings in my life is coming to its end, I look up. It is raining outside. I am most grateful for this peaceful sight.
- My friend’s calm yet cheerful voice over the phone takes away a part of the day’s weight.
- It is only after an hour that I notice I have been lying in bed, freezing cold, with the window wide open in my room. So lucky.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
- While airing Jay’s room in the morning I listen to the coo-cooing out in the woods. I am fortunate to start my day like this.
- I can’t help but admire my coworker for all the things she had to let go off, and all the people she had forgiven. I am really glad I have spoken to her to remember this.
- Watching a part of a movie about a really strong woman that changed history.
Monday, May 2, 2016
- My Mom helps me with the pile of receipts, and with writing down some data that might come useful. I feel a little less burdened and my drawers are less cluttered and that is a good thing.
- After Jay’s play-date we go for a walk in the rain. For a short while the sun penetrates the western clouds and we bath in the golden light. A stop at my cousin’s to greet his girls.
- I don’t hesitate but make the call right after I get home. Now we just need to agree on a date to check this house on sale.