- I find her in tears and react swiftly by taking her to her athletics although late and with not-exactly running shoes because we had left them at school. Then she is all smiles.
- I have a few more minutes to drive around the neighborhood before picking up Jay. Then I spot them both, the houses on sale.
- I lock myself up into the bathroom and for 10 minutes I am just me.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
- By 10 a.m. I have done my morning exercise, made breakfast, boiled potatoes, have a bouillon cooking on the stove and feel super good about myself.
- Three girls in the front row at church so live, full of smiles, poking each other and chitchatting.
- Jay wants to know when her name day is and when she realizes we have missed it by 4 months, she decides we will celebrate today and sets the table with sweets and nuts. We don’t have any presents ready but she is happy with the violet pot that I had bought for her to take to school (but she would like to take a cactus instead), and with the new boots my Mom had brought her. It’s a sweet celebration on a cold and gloomy rainy day that she so lovingly prepared for us, winded up with a treasure hunt that only I participate in.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
- I marvel at Jay’s piano playing as it’s only been three weeks since she started her lessons.
- It takes us more than an hour to get back uphill and Jay says her legs hurt but we enjoy our fine early Autumn time together more than a lot.
- I see that the envelope on the counter is open. It’s a relief. Watching it sealed for the second day in a row really threatened to trigger me.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
- It is only at the library, while waiting for Jay, that I remember to make the call. But the man on the other side of the line answers with a cheerful voice that he is already in the middle of pruning our cherry tree.
- I found this post. I printed it out and stuck it to the wall of my cubicle. Neruda’s You start dying slowly had to go. Changing focus. I have got #1 covered. Moving on to #2. Practicing.
- Em is tired from her dance session. And her back hurts. She says it’s been fragile ever since she has been paying more attention to her posture over the last few weeks. I am glad my remarks have been considered.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
- I sing “… always look on the bright side of life…” as I sidewalk to the office.
- “How was it?” “Great. She has taught me sooo much.” Jay’s great expectations have been met and she likes her music teacher. I am happy… sooo much.
- I can’t go on like this for much longer. At this point any change is good.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Every year there are at least three milestones in my life related to my children: birthdays, beginning of another school year and Christmas time. Each one of them is bitter-sweet, bringing tears to my eyes when nobody’s looking, and filling my heart with so deep feelings and huge desires that leave little space for my lungs. This is one of those days. It doesn’t get any easier: I don’t get any tougher, any more skilled to not feel like I am falling apart a little, or a lot, trying to hide it behind a timid smile and a wave goodbye.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
- I enjoy the show with the raptors enormously. I am especially taken by the Golden Eagle… I still wish I had lined up for a photo shoot with the Kestrel sitting on my hand like Em and Jay did.
- The little monkey snatches the apple from the keeper’s pocket and dashes away.
- The moment I pour the batter onto the frying pan for the first pancake I hear my mom’s car in our driveway.