1. I cook while they sew clothes for the dolls.
2. A rainy day is perfect for Ana Karenina that we have been putting off watching for so many weeks.
3. I talk and she listens and I still don’t know what to do but I feel better letting it out.

1. The smell of cantaloupe as I open the container for my lunch at the office.
2. Hydrangeas are among my favorites. Unfortunately this summer the blooms in my garden have been badly burnt by the sun. As I am pruning I listen to Jay and her little friend and their interaction is a wonderful example of complementing and having fun together.
3. Mostly it was about needing to leave the house. But eventually it felt like the right thing to go there, to reunite and to light a candle at his grave.

1. I felt much better afterwards. I actually stopped biting my nails and got to work which I am paid to do.
2. Jay wanted to have a serious talk with me about when she can meet with friends when her big sister is going to a birthday party this week and is even planning a sleep-over…! I don’t know how I pulled it through with my suggestion to cycle down to the library together, but I did. And it was good. Humid and hot, especially when we had to walk back up the hill, dragging our bikes, but it was good. For all three of us.
3. While we talked we held each other tight on her big bed and I felt small but safe, safe in the arms of my 13-year old daughter.

1. Seeing them enjoy our weekend away from home, swimming, splashing, diving in the pools made it more than worth the stress I felt doing things differently.
2. As soon as we come home Jay takes her diary to write a few lines and to glue in the postcard.
3. I feel a relief seeing that the lettuce seedlings are still alive, although nobody watered them over the last two days.

1. The crisp air and sunshine and swings at 1122 m alt.
2. As soon as I get past the resentment I feel lighter and able to think of all the wonderful possibilities for our girls' weekend.
3. Although I feel sorry Em and I had to again postpone watching Anna Karenina together, I enjoy seeing my auntie after so many weeks and talking small talk while indulging in our home-made pizza and cake.

1. Morning rain, finally. 
2. The man delivering apples pulled in the moment I got out of the car. 
3. I know it hasn't been exactly the best summer for her. When she shared her anticipation of her next week get-togethers with a smile on her face I was happy.

1. Jay created a lovely booklet about letters. Letter A is the most important one, and letter V likes to sleep in late but should go to bed earlier, at 9 p.m. that is (like Jay). Love it!
2. I ask my colleague at work if she has any sample to spare and she hands me a lovely red box with a bear, perfect size for the cookies we have made for my cousin.
3. Little Jakob bounces around and smiles all the time, and looks at me in astonishment when I start singing to him – and then, after a while, covers his ears.

1. I look into the cradle, at the green blanket, and picture the newborn there. What joy!
2. We make ourselves comfortable on the couch watching the adventures of the tiny, but mighty Chihuahua.
3. I felt so much rage I feared I was going to lose control and do something crazy, embarrassing and socially inacceptable, which isn’t hard to do in a neighborhood like ours and in a situation like that one. This is not a good thing. Until you deal with it, on your own, locked up in the bathroom, in the quiet and out of sight, and come out human again, humble and grateful for yet another episode, one of many yet to come.

1. It was nice having them come visit. And we had a good excuse to serve lots of ice-cream.
2. We spent some time at the opening of the hops-picking season, but then we left the band and the crowd behind and walked down to the lake. It was quiet and beautiful and it brought nice memories.
3. It was almost 8 p.m. when I put on my walking shoes and went for a hike into the woods. I appreciated the peacefulness, the fallen trees and the dead leaves and the dying light. It’s all about the life cycle, although we sometimes can’t make sense of its pace.

1. The assignments the couples participate in to stay in the competition for 1 million dollars on TV are disgusting, but then my sit-ups don't seem that hard and awful anymore.
2. At the cash register I tease Em about those clothing being just a huge expense and no investment, but then we all check the receipt and I get a 10 € pay-back because of the lady's mistake. 
3. An event from the past keeps invading my mind late in the evening when everyone else is asleep and I have the house all to myself. I decide to rewrite it, to create a different story. Eventually, I find myself brushing my teeth and having a monologue no one can hear, and it seems crazy, yet healing realizing I can finally express my feelings, and accept them.

1. We watch the dairy worker stir the yoghurt with fruit from the window above, and it seems so creamy and yummy, just like in the commercials.
2. The 10 degree temperature in the Hell underground cave feels like heaven on a blazing summer day, still in a short while we are glad we are wearing all the extra clothing.
3. The second and third batch of coconut cookies turn out best: chewy on the inside and crunchy on the outside.

1. I buy train tickets for our ride to Ptuj, and the cashier lady is nice to suggest we buy a special family card to cut on future rides which is tempting and makes me think of all the faraway places we could go... but actually we only take the train once a year... and this makes it a big summer adventure. 
2. Jay loves the view from the castle, particularly the brick roofs down below. She wants me to take a photo of her alone, and the roofs in the background. 
3. Jay and I clasp hands and laugh and make fun of Em while waiting for the train.

1. The writing prompt encourages me to create a poem. I haven't been writing much in months. Just lists. And all this writing feels good.
2. I watch her play tennis with the teacher and hear her bold communication. An hour later I listen to her loud singing and see her twirl all around the house. The next minute she is telling me about the books for her school project that she will start working on. So full of life, so full of confidence.
3. The second time that we watched the movie August Rush. I love this story about the music separating them and then eventually bringing them all back together.

1. I know by now that a 1-hour workout a day, keeps my lowest spirits away, so I am back in business.
2. Jay comes back in, asks for a container so that she can bring me something, a surprise. It is handful of thyme she had picked at the back of our house. “Are you surprised? Will you do something with it?”
3. “I am so looking forward to next week when you’re home,” says Em with a big smile on her face.

1. Cranky in the morning. I choose not to serve breakfast. Pearl white nail polish. I feel so much better. 
2. I don't think Jay has ever asked for some more lettuce. Until lunch today. 
3. We are just about to cross the railway tracks when Jay says how funny it was last time when the signal started right then and scared us. To our amazement in that very moment the signal rings and we find ourselves in the exact same scene.

I read this post and decided it was a good day to get uncomfortable...

… like when I need to fill out the tax papers and the deadline is today.

Because I hate tax papers.

But I am grateful I have something to pay taxes for.

… and like when I have to take Em’s shoes back to the store to file a complaint.

Because I hate being the one to complain, to stand out; I’d rather just let go and blame it on myself for buying a low quality merchandise at a high price.

But I am grateful I did it.

And for taking the girls for the best ice-cream in town afterwards.

… and like when I have to insist on Jay’s sleeping in her own bed, in her room.

Because this happens 6 out of 7 nights (she made it a rule to sleep in the big bed on Fridays) and it stressful and it requires a parent’s persistence to stretch at the end of a long day.

But I am grateful Jay eventually understands we all need a good night sleep and comes sneaking into the big bed no earlier than 3 a.m.

The Reverse 100 Thing Challenge

Today I not only have 3 good things…. I have 100 things to write about! I have taken the challenge on be more with less blog and collected 100 items that need to leave the house by end of December. Courtney’s post was so inspiring I decided to join in right away and left a comment which won me the book The 100 Thing Challenge. The book came in the mail yesterday (thank you, Courtney!) and it seems I will finish reading it in just two sittings. 

I can understand the drive behind Dave’s journey but I am happy to say that I have grown up in a society that has not been all that consumerism oriented, at least not until just a decade ago when malls have been starting to grow like mushrooms after rain all around the country. I may easily limit my own desires for material stuff but I do have two girls that I have been spoiling, much to my pleasure and regret. Over the last year or so I have been looking at our place through the eyes of a minimalist and became painfully aware that our home is full of stuff and that moving out without a few months pre-notice would be a mission impossible. Giving away clothes we no longer wear on a regular basis is easy, but what about the rest…? A house with too much space gives us all a perfect excuse to keep things “just in case”, as “momento” etc.

So, these are my 100 things:

• ·         38 books
• ·         12 DVDs
• ·         6 CDs
• ·         3 necklaces
• ·         1 lady bag
• ·         1 promotional tote in pink
• ·         1 backpack, new
• ·         1 backpack for a boy toddler
• ·         1 set of baby phones
• ·         1 toy flute
• ·         1 swing for a toddler
• ·         1 pacifier for measuring temperature, new
• ·         1 set of workbooks for 6 Graders, new
• ·         2 perfumes, originally wrapped
• ·         1 camera, new
• ·         1 mobile phone, new
• ·         1 new children’s Disney camera, new
• ·         1 bag of plush toys
• ·         1 device for measuring air temperature and pressure
• ·         3 wall compositions made of dry flowers, new
• ·         1 set of curtain pegs, new
• ·         1 Nebulizer, never used
• ·         1 puzzle ball, new
• ·         1 Chinese vase
• ·         1 lamp with two shades
• ·         1 chess
• ·         1 book with puzzles, new
• ·         1 simple wooden doll house
•           1 framed stitched painting with flowers 
•           1 hair curler
•           13 pieces of my personal clothing

Books, DVDs and CDs have already been taken to the school library or municipal library yesterday afternoon, making the librarians’ day, and most of my clothing will be given away to people I know and have already given clothes to before. Toys that my girls no longer play with will become other children’s toys at the local kindergarten sometime next week. I put up a few things on the giving site yesterday afternoon and people called in in the morning as soon as my mobile phone number showed up on the site, saving me from another 8 things in just two calls! I do have a couple of things yet to find the recipient for but it seems it has taken me more time to collect the 100 things than it will take to purge them! I feel really light seeing the room free from the pile of stuff I had prepared, and I know I will feel even better after holidays when I do another round. I think 2013 will be just great. Less stuff makes moving on easier.

1. I watch the silvery morning turn into gold. An expected luxury I experience at home, on a working day.

2. I can tell these are the ones, the perfect boots for Jay. They make her smile. Black velvet with a white furry embellishment and a clasp.

3. She texts me and it makes me smile. She is the only friend I could call in the middle of the night.

A perfect morning offering 3 beautiful things:

1. sleeping in
2. cuddling in bed
3. first snow

back in September...

Sometimes being at loss for words is a good thing.

These are from my vacation in September.