1. Palm Sunday is one of my favorites Sundays. I knew all seats would be taken before we’d enter the church, but I prefer to stand outside with Jay and all the chatty happy people, to be in the sun, waiting for the priest’s blessing.
2. I recheck the spinning chair again and see that it is indeed in perfect condition and worth the price I set.
3. A sense of relief when I see him leave.

1. When Jay finds knee socks in pink, with black music notes her face lifts up.
2. After we reach the top we sit on the bench and Jay leans against me. There is wind in the treetops and there is no place I’d rather be.
3. I listen to uplifting TED talks instead of watching tv before bedtime. Indeed, what is the worst that can happen if you give it a try?

1. I am happy to leave the office so much earlier and able to run some errands. Meeting up with my friend Barbra for a few minutes is a bonus.
2. I decide to give it a try and take photos of the items I need to discard.
3. Friday night bouncing with Em and Jay on the big bed.

1. In-between returning from work, music class and church I spent little daytime in the house, and that is good.
2. I can see right into her heart when she sits down by my side. Watching dance groups’ appearances for two hours and not being a part of it anymore was too much for her.
3. I so much enjoy the movie character Walter Mitty seeing the world and beyond.

1. The smell of Spring coming from the woods as I wait down by the driveway.
2. I am happy to hear that my sight hasn’t deteriorated all that much.
3. So wonderful to have a full service and lots of attention at the optician’s (who happens to be my classmate from primary school), so unlike the last purchase of eyeglass frames at some other place.

1. As soon as I come home Jay happily shares details about her test in Slovenian, about how very well she thinks she has done at it.
2. At the mall a toddler flapping hands in excitement while looking through the glass panel from her pushchair.
3. Em leans on me and together we watch an episode about gold mining in Bering Sea.

1. A Sunday sleep-in for my sore muscles.
2. As we walk the trail I show Jay the lungwort, the first one I have noticed this Spring.
3. We return late from the charity concert but I manage to prepare an evening snack, have Jay in bed by 8 p.m., workout and listen Em rehearse her history presentation about Augustus. Altogether it feels like a good end of the day.

1. A break for a chocolate smoothie.
2. I am happy to see her call on my mobile.
3. While Em watches a movie on her computer lying on the big bed, Jay and I sneak under the bed covers.

1. We are both tip-toeing in our conversation, still it is really nice to see her stop by our house.
2. Em has planned out her evening: the appearance with her school choir, then late night shopping with friends.
3. Fridays are Jay’s favorite. Because she has made it a rule to stay up for as long as she wants. I agree to that. Now Fridays are my favorite, too.

1. Sunrays from above the cloud make my morning.
2. I have problems deciding which flowers to buy for my Mom because there are so many different kinds and all pink.
3. The smell of wild garlic lingers even after I put the jars with pesto into the fridge and do the dishes.

1. Errands to run at lunchtime. I walk in the sun.
2. Working in my vegetable garden. Opening the season with garlic.
3. Having the living room all to myself. Em joins me at 10 p.m.

1. I catch the train and get to the music school on time to attend the mini Spring production. Jay plays wonderfully and I am really happy about it.
2. Em wishes to explain to me all about cells from her biology class and while listening I relax on the couch and don’t get up even when I hear B coming upstairs.
3. I manage to quiet my mind and just be for a minute. Life starts making sense again and I can go to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

1. The meeting with the tutor is inspiring. He loves what he does and seems very relaxed and motivated, and overall funny. I haven’t heard an Irish accent in many years.
2. I expected to have to argument but it goes smoothly.
3. I love it that the movie has been made into a musical. I like the redhead.

1. I am taken by surprise to see Em up so early in the morning and studying.
2. The next minute Jay is fine with washing her hair and even wants me to curl it.
3. As I leave the studio I notice a lovely colorful house ornament on the wall hanger with a note about happiness.

Things I have done for the first (or after a long) time – Week 11

• Tried jogging again.
• Saw a rainbow, my first in 2015.

1. A morning hike. First windflowers.
2. Weekends used to be a well established routine. Over the last two months the list of tasks is pretty much the same, but there is no schedule. Just going with the flow seems challenging and that is good. Like, at noon I am mopping the floor instead of cooking lunch.
3. Jay finishes another three pages in her workbook in the evening. After 4 days of absence Jay has to catch up with her school work and is doing really well.

1. Moving from one task to another like a robot. I hate it, but I get a lot done at the office and that is good.
2. A get-together with Darja at out favorite café. Ain’t Friday afternoons just the best?
3. We bounce all over the bed and tickle and before we know it’s 10 p.m. already.

1. The morning crisp air clears my head. Spring flowers on the other side of the fence, next to the unattractive buildings.
2. Jay is feeling much better and her appetite is back, too.
3. Cleaning frenzy first, then a walk at dusk with Em.

1. After a long white night a long sleep-in with Jay.
2. Em texts me about the time of arrival just minutes before and just as I am done putting the grocery in the car. Perfect timing.

Is it St. Gregory’s tomorrow?
Yes, it’s March 12th. They say that on St. Gregory’s birdies wed.
We are two birdies wedding right here, says Jay and moves closer to me.

1. I leave home late and return early to spend as much time with Jay as possible.
2. After a while I stop agonizing. Being in the moment is all there is. I massage her feet to make them warm again.
3. I leave out my workout but I get a few minutes of late night reading which is good.

1. I am grateful for another day of my life. Going to work again is good.
2. All day long I expected good news from Em. Em told me so. Then what she texts isn’t good, but it isn’t bad either. She is working hard and is most eager to learn and I am so proud of her.
3. Fake it till you make it, I say to myself. And I do and eventually I feel better. After a long day of too much of everything I am smiling.

1. I love love Jay’s card that she has made for me for Women’s Day.
2. Jay feels much pain in her heel again and for a while I feel sorry we went for a walk, the three of us. But then we pass the moor and pick snowdrops and we all enjoy it so much, the flowers, the sun. At home Jay makes a bouquet for my Mom.
3. The path to the studio is lit up and so is the parking lot. It make me feel safe, being in a dark unfamiliar neighborhood.

Things I have done for the first (or after a long) time – Week 10

• picking snowdrops
• practicing yoga in a small room with 11 other people

1. Mom kindly suggests to drive back to the store to be buy ice-cream and an hour later we are indulging in Viennetta vanilla with layers of chocolate till it’s gone.
2. Blue hepatica all along my trail in the woods.
3. The pile of toys doesn’t seem any smaller, but Jay and I did manage to start filling the give-away box and the paper waste box.

1. The classroom is full of children and their mommies and grannies, all creating out of collage paper and having a good pre-Woman’s-Day time together.
2. Jay endures her heel massage and then the Bowen’s therapy. Her good spirits counterbalance my worries.
3. We play Genial so late into the night, we don’t hesitate going straight to bed after we finish the second game.

1. I am happy to be awake in the morning. What a nightmare.
2. Elegant shoes with a flower pattern. I only spot them once throughout the day at the office but they stay with me.
3. Late night wind raging in the tree tops behind our house and all around, making sounds that give me shivers. So grateful we are safe.

1. At sunrise a cloudy veil just above the horizon.
2. The kind librarian makes copies of math exercises for Jay and doesn’t charge me anything.
3. I feel depleted in the evening yet I stay up with Em who continues with her physics studies in my bedroom, and that is really nice, to have her sit on my bed next to me, with her notebooks wide open, to listen to her talking to herself, repeating definitions about things I know nothing about anymore, and to look at her smiling face when she exchanges messages with someone whose name she doesn’t want to reveal.

1. I really like my coworker’s T-shirt. Lots of glitter.
2. I take a long lunch break. A walk to the mall and back, in the sun, breathing in Spring.
3. I don’t think I need to buy any more black clothes. I have far too many, and now I want bright colors. Like pink, the color of sunrises.

1. Waking my girls up in the morning is my highlight of the day. The warmth of their cheeks, their neck, their bodies. Like they have just come out of a cocoon.
2. Em comes out of her room with a smile, happy with her studying for the test in physics.
3. An e-mail about a new Sunday evening yoga class. I sign up.

1. I love it when I start my day with an exercise and not breakfast.
2. Em says she can see spiders crawling from beneath dead leaves when walk through the woods and I laugh and tell her that she should better run then.
3. I remember to fry some cheese croquettes and the girls love them.

Things I have done for the first (or after a long) time – Week 9

1. been to a concert at the local music school
2. checked the first real estate; it’s not the one, but it’s a start, the step I had been scared to take
3. seen an Iranian movie on TV after a long time; my expectations weren’t met though
4. found photos while copying files, taken right after the move into our house 11 years ago; Em’s eyes and smiles, so sweet.