1. When we return from our short hike I instantly decide to cut the dead stems of the shrub on the edge of our driveway. No prior planning.
2. Mom helps me collect two bags of clothes, toys and children’s magazines that will make someone happy.
3. All of a sudden I feel the urge to check my phone and I see an unanswered call from my friend.

1. My colleague from work is so kind to offer me a lift to Zalec, to Jay’s music school.
2. Em texts me that her chemistry test went really well.
3. Jay beams after the practice with the professor, and says how proud she is to have played with him.

1. The view of the snow-capped hills in the morning.
2. While Jay is at her music theory class I do a short hike in the woods. The trail is muddy and there is little light, so it seems really dark and scary and raw but I like it. Like I am on a survival quest.
3. The filled pasta is really delicious. I have forgotten how good it can taste.

1. The room is only half full and most of the parents sit in back rows as if we were afraid of the teachers. There is an empty chair right in front of me and then my cousin walks in and takes it, and we get to chat before the meeting starts.
2. On our way from the school parents’ meeting we talk about our children and our everyday, and then she gets into a topic I am very sensitive about. I soon come to realize it has nothing to do with me, but with her own situations that I can relate to from another point of view. I am really glad to interact with a person of common sense and emotional intelligence.
3. It is only after I do my mini workout and read a few pages that I feel at peace with myself and the world.

1. I pass a shop with sewing supplies. I walk in and buy some strings for friendship bracelets for Jay, in 10 different colors.
2. Cuba is a lovely café downtown Celje. I have a decaf and cookies before the meeting. Enjoying the moment.
3. As I walk in the bookstore I heave a sigh of relief. A white-bearded man standing next to the shelves with a book in his hands looks up, puzzled, then says: So many books, right? I smile back and reply with a yes.

Things I have done for the first (or after a long) time – Week 8

1. gone ice skating
2. transformed into a 1968 hippy 5 minutes before taking the girls to the school masquerade
3. tried skiing again
4. joined a 4-hour Saturday morning yoga class (my first yoga class ever)
5. seen a local amateur theater comedy

1. Sore muscles from my yesterday’s yoga class.
2. Moved old toys to the upstairs’ room so I will bump into the huge pile more than once a day until I sort what is going and what is staying.
3. Attended a local amateur theater comedy with Jay and my Mom.

1. I spend the whole morning in the sun on the ski slopes of Golte. So does Jay, while learning to ski. It feels good to be outside, in all that whiteness. I feel safe.
2. I run into U, a colleague from work who has recently undergone an operation and then a breasts’ reconstruction. Her attitude is uplifting.
3. Em helps me with uploading photos. I am still not used to my home computer, so her help is really appreciated.

Tonight I received a full blow. Apart from this late evening episode I can’t remember a single thing from that day. I have so much to be thankful though, so here goes:

1. My girls.
2. My endurance, my strength.
3. My support system: my friends and family.

1. I feel a genuine excitement within while walking from the junction to the office.
2. I was hoping I would not have to attend the business meeting. I couldn’t get out of it. It goes well.
3. Now, years later, I get to know details about a story I thought I had only created in my mind. And there is nothing good about it, only that I am happy to see how far I have come in my self-appreciation.

1. As I bring the left-overs to the farm, just across the road from us, I run into our neighbor, a kind soul.
2. A short late afternoon walk on an icy trail.
3. I give Jay a massage of her right lower arm. She has had to practice piano playing with her teacher a lot today.

1. Jay's piano playing at the end-of-semester production is great. She is radiant on stage.
2. A call from a friend.
3. I am learning to walk right in, and right through, no more tip-toeing. I am claiming my power back. It feels good, really good.

1. I wasn't looking for a birthday present but amid all the cute little things I see something Jay would be happy to have.
2. Em says we could have our own reality show like the Kardashians. I like her remark, so sarcastically hilarious. Not that I have seen a single episode of theirs ever.
3. At the end of the day I would have loved to let it all out, but I had no one to talk to. All I could was let go. And I did.

1. As I get out of the house and walk down the hill the clouds open up and there is the sun, so much sun.
2. I run into the same elderly couple at almost the same spot on the trail where we met yesterday.
3. I saw Still Alice tonight. And I feel so much appreciation for all the memories that I have… of my children, of the times when I was a student, of the prom, of my parents and grandparents, of my loves… of the beautiful and painful things that have happened to me, of the people that have once been a part of my life and then left for whatever reason, and of the ones that with me that I am happy to share my life with… All we really have is today.

1. Saturday morning is a perfect time to peel oranges really slowly and look at the snow-blanketed fields through the kitchen window.
2. In the afternoon it is my first time ever to see a snow shower and the sun shining at the same time. What happened to the rainbow?
3. The skirt my cousin had ordered for us is exactly what Jay was hoping for… Little Naja points at the lace with her tiny finger.

1. For once I did not have to put all the groceries from the cart into the car and then take them out again and carry them up to the kitchen. I think I will make this a habit, to go shopping on our way from work instead of making a solo Saturday afternoon trip to the store. Why not share heavy loads, at least the most common ones.
2. Jay loves the puzzles from Frozen that I bought her.
3. My friend Darja’s news makes me feel happy for her, although I know it’s only just the beginning of her dealing with this new situation.

1. I am pleasantly surprised when I call Jay from downstairs if she will be going to her athletics and she responds with a yes.
2. Both girls are in a very good mood because class (in most schools in the country) has s been cancelled for tomorrow due to heavy snow forecast.
3. We walk down to the store, my Mom and I, and we run into my cousin’s spouse and their little son, playing in the snow. (I really miss seeing this sweet boy more often. By the time I pass by again, with a rucksack full of groceries on my back, I find they have gone home already.)

1. I have a couple of minutes to myself in the hallway by the vending machines. Gathering my thoughts, thinking about how every new day is a chance to try again and again and again, and how I shouldn’t lose hope.
2. There are signs about exposure to X-rays on all three doors to the neighboring room but I only have to wait there a short while.
3. As I walk into the bookstore I wonder about a particular book, and there it is, right there, when I look down.

1. As we drive down to my Mom’s, Jay and I, we remember a scene from a cartoon and we both laugh out loud. It is a good start of the day.
2. At lunchtime a walk to the mall and back to make some urgent purchases. I begin to feel my muscles from my morning squats.
3. We run around the house like crazy, all three of us, looking for Em’s book Hamlet. I spot it on top of the piano.

1. Jay is pressured by her classmates about which group she should join. She doesn’t want to be a part of either of them, she just wants friends and not gangs. We all know this if-you-are-not-with-me-you-are-against-me attitude… Em has experienced it, now Jay is faced with it. I am really glad she confides in me.
2. After an whole hour at the dentist’s I am most happy to shut my mouth.
3. An old friend’s husband in the waiting room. It’s a funny situation because I don’t recognize him at first, but I manage to save us all the embarrassment.

1. Unlike the red mittens I was wearing during my yesterday’s walk the purple ones feel far more comfortable, not irritating the rash on my hand.
2. A snowflake landing on my glasses.
3. Jay makes the cake all by herself for the very first time. She mixes the flour, and the syrup, the oil, the egg, all other ingredients, covers it with frozen red current, and off it goes into the oven. We have big pieces after lunch. Delicious. She is proud of herself and she should be! I am, too!